


Blind State of Mind

by Lemonques



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Beating, M/M, One-sided feelings, Short One Shot, Slut Shaming, Violence, eren's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:56:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2523161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemonques/pseuds/Lemonques
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi's a cold, violent bastard who likes to take advantage of Eren. Eren's a confused, innocent teen who has a stockholm's syndrome, lol. Courtroom-scene where Levi beats the shit out of Eren and some of Eren's thoughts before the incident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind State of Mind

I knew it was something you needed to do. I understood you did it to save my life. Or for some other reason, perhaps. I’m not sure if you just wanted me alive so that you could continue using me. Even though we had spent multiple nights together, exactly one hour and twenty-five minutes per your visit, and even though you made me _moan_ and _whine_ and _cry_ from the pleasure every single time, I still felt like I didn’t know you at all. You had this invisible mask on you, I could never read your thoughts or see your true self. When you took me you were terribly rough and brutal. You choked me and bruised me, scarred me even. You told me a number of times that I was nothing but a filthy slut. That I was disgusting and worthless.

But somehow I slowly grew on you. I waited for you every night and whenever I heard your sharp footsteps drawing closer to the door I got so overwhelmingly excited that I was afraid I would pass out. I wanted to touch you so bad, yet you never let me. You said I wouldn't be worth it. _"If you shut up I might let you suck me off. Be grateful."_

After you were done fucking me, you simply just dressed up and without a word left me there, used, lying on the bed, your cum leaking out of my body while I desperately begged you to stay, even for a moment longer. It was always the same. I was there with you, in my cell, but somehow it felt like I was completely alone.

My hands were tied up to the pole during the trial and I had no chance of fighting back while you pulled me by my hair and kicked me with all the strength you had. I could hear my nose cracking. Your movements were quick and effortless, you didn’t even try to hold back. We were surrounded by people but neither of us hardly even noticed them. I tried to reach out to you, failing; you were perfectly lost in your ecstasy. You kicked me again and again and again. My rib broke and it hurt like hell. I thought it would be the end of me. I couldn’t understand why you were so cruel. Why you were so heartless. Did you really loathe me this much?

I tried to breathe as I couched blood on the courtroom’s floor. I somehow needed to believe in you right now. I needed to have a proof that you did it all just for my sake, to show me you truly cared.

I raised my head, which felt heavier than ever before in my life, just for a brief moment so I could see the look on your face.

"What you need is to be trained like a dog, not a man."

I heard your words. I saw your expression. You enjoyed this. I could tell it from your eyes. It gave you ultimate satisfaction, it gave you power and it turned you on. It was something I could never understand. I suddenly felt sick. Maybe your only goal all this time was to hurt me, to humiliate me.

You forcibly pressed me down with your foot. I gasped as I felt something shattering inside of me, piercing me from within; you finally managed to break me.

"It's easier to kick you while you're kneeling."

But whatever you did to me, how much you beat me or how much you violated me…

How much my body bled and ached or how much it hurt every single time you ignored me like I was nothing to you…

No matter how badly you wrecked me…

Despite all that, I was still stupid enough…

"Tsk. What a brat."

...to love you.


End file.
